WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
