she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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