He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
