Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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