She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she smelled like a LAN party
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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