the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he thought i was a dude.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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