and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
