I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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