i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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