hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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