these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
