I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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