'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Mom said you looked used
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
