Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm like, not good at living.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
