Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
