Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize