i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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