He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
