Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
