he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
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I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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