i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
