He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
