the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
