It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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