...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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