PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
