Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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