quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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