Can i not drive my cunt home
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
