hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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