I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I need help removing her.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
