i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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