Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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