Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
