I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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