how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
