The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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