and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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