I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
