so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize