i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
