she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
