we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want to make out with him forever
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Who died my cat blue again?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
