We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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