My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
