So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
