If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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