yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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