There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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