I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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