Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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