His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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