After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Can you bring me the toilet please
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
