my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize