I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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