i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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