just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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