Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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