Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
