Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
