There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
